Top tips on building and maintaining healthy relationships
Pqconnect 
What makes a healthy relationship?
Every relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. Part of what defines a healthy relationship is sharing a common goal for exactly what you want the relationship to be and where you want it to go. And that’s something you’ll only know by talking deeply and honestly with your partner.
However, there are also some characteristics that most healthy relationships have in common. Knowing these basic principles can help keep your relationship meaningful, fulfilling and exciting whatever goals you’re working towards or challenges you’re facing together.
All romantic relationships go through ups and downs and they all take work, commitment, and a willingness to adapt and change with your partner. But whether your relationship is just starting out or you’ve been together for years, there are steps you can take to build a healthy relationship. Even if you’ve experienced a lot of failed relationships in the past or have struggled before to rekindle the fires of romance in your current relationship, you can find ways to stay connected, find fulfillment, and enjoy lasting happiness.
1. Get to know yourself
Take the time to appreciate yourself and get in touch with your emotions to be able to express yourself clearly and more effectively.
Not knowing how to regulate your emotions and express them healthily can negatively affect your mental wellbeing.
2. Put in the work
Healthy relationships are not found but built.
A healthy relationship needs commitment and willingness to be accommodating to each other’s needs.
3. Set and respect boundaries
Setting boundaries is not only about what you don’t want or like in your relationships, but also about letting the people around you know what you appreciate.
Think about and let others know where your boundaries are; respecting your time alone for example.
Doing this can take the pressure off your relationship to commit to anything unrealistic.
4. Talk and Listen
All relationships have disagreements and that’s ok. what matters is how you talk and listen to one another.
Listen to understand, rather than listening to respond.
Don’t be afraid to express your emotions or vulnerabilities with people you trust.
5. Let go of control
A lot of life is about how we react to our experiences and encounters. Knowing that you can only really control what you do and not what anyone else does will save you time and stress.
6. Reflect and learn
If you have a healthy way of expressing your feelings, you’re able to react to other people’s in a healthy way. Being angry with someone often comes from a place of feeling hurt and upset. if you can recognise that, you can communicate it, and build better relationships with others.
Reflect on the relationships that work best in your life, what qualities do these relationships have, and how can you bring these qualities into other relationships?
7.You maintain a meaningful emotional connection with each other.
You each make the other feel loved and emotionally fulfilled. There’s a difference between being loved and feeling loved. When you feel loved, it makes you feel accepted and valued by your partner, like someone truly gets you. Some relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without the partners truly relating to each other emotionally. While the union may seem stable on the surface, a lack of ongoing involvement and emotional connection serves only to add distance between two people.
8.You keep outside relationships and interests alive.
Despite the claims of romantic fiction or movies, no one person can meet all of your needs. In fact, expecting too much from your partner can put unhealthy pressure on a relationship. To stimulate and enrich your romantic relationship, it’s important to sustain your own identity outside of the relationship, preserve connections with family and friends, and maintain your hobbies and interests.
9.You communicate openly and honestly.
Good communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people know what they want from the relationship and feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, it can increase trust and strengthen the bond between you.
Recognising a healthy relationship
An healthy relationships should be based on;
- respect
- communication
- boundaries
- honesty
- trust
These qualities can be recognised in the way a relationship makes you feel.
- "Everyone feels safe and that their boundaries are respected”
- “Recognising that differences are inevitable, but being able to talk about them”
- “Feeling as though you can be who you want to be”
- “Not having to cover up bits of yourself or personality to sustain the relationship”
- “Letting someone know how you feel without them having to dig”
Managing conflict in relationships
Relationships aren’t always easy and you will sometimes meet conflict.
Difficult conversations may make us feel uncomfortable but we stressed the importance of being able to talk to friends, family and romantic partners about these things, it may even strengthen your relationship in the long run.
A good starting place is to let the other person know in advance that you want to talk. It helps if you both have time to prepare.
Once you do start talking if a comment upsets you, try and take a break, pause the conversation, and come back when you feel ready.
And remember, it is okay for you to put boundaries in place, to say ‘no’ when you’re not comfortable and to walk away if the relationship does not feel right to you.
